Like the rules of poetry (and pretty much everything), I believe the rules of pancakes are meant to be broken. Otherwise life would be a whole lot less fun, creative, and delicious. However, definitions make for good guidelines and it is within this framework I present this review.
Birch Benders makes one of my favorite protein pancake mixes. They are guaranteed to be easy to make and fluffy to eat. Recently, they launched a line of microwavable cup mixes, including several pancake flavors. A pancake in a cup! How cool and cute is that!
At $11.99 for a package of four, plus shipping, these aren’t inexpensive. Oh, and they are also marketed as “Keto,” because people hate carbs now. They are not low calorie though, at an average of 200 calories per tiny cup serving. I don’t really know where the calories are coming from (maybe the 17g of fat), but if I’m going to eat 200 calories or more of a small pancake, they better taste fucking good.
I bought two varieties: Strawberry Shortcake and Classic Maple. I was especially interested in the Strawberry Shortcake, which I tried first. I guesstimated the addition of three tablespoons of water. I thought the batter smelled like a strawberry Pop-Tart, which I love (not a keto food product). I microwaved my adorably decorated Strawberry Shortcake cup for 60 seconds and then looked at it very suspiciously. My first bite was…terrible. I tried another bite to be sure and then threw it away. It was dry, tasted artificial, and left me with a bad mouthfeel.
The next one I tried was the Classic Maple, and I very carefully measured three tablespoons of water, in case this was an operator error situation. I mixed, microwaved, and again looked at the finished product suspiciously. This one was better, but something was still off about it. It kind of tasted like a pancake, but I had to think pretty hard about it.
So are these even pancakes?
The Strawberry Shortcake gets a resounding “no” and while the Classic Maple was reminiscent flavor-wise of a pancake, it was certainly not a “flat cake made of thin batter.” It was a semi dry, salty, fluffy ball of “maybe pancake.”
I want to reiterate that Birch Benders makes excellent protein pancake mixes, which I will continue to use. I might consider eating the rest of these alleged “pancake cups” in an emergency situation, where I also have access to power and a microwave. The only thing these left me with was a terrible craving for a real pancake topped with strawberries.
JUST THE STACKS – 0/10 TASTY STACKS
Overall Taste: Not good. I wanted to give one point for the Classic Maple, but since I have deemed these Not Pancakes I can’t even give out a point.
Mouthfeel: Sad, disappointing, and confusing.
Protein per serving: 7g*
Carbs per serving: 10g*
Price: $11.99 for 4
* The nutrition facts listed on Amazon and Birch Benders are slightly different from each other for the same products and I don’t know why this is, but surely someone is going to get upset if they don’t know if something has 7 or 10 grams of protein.